I think your story is going to work fine - though you might want to look at the scene in which the bully challenges Leo to the kite race, because I don't think you've got sufficient info in your scene yet to tell us that's what is happening. I don't think the audience will understand, so you might need to expand to include additional shots of kites, of the starting place, and the finishing place, with the bully pointing, Leo looking etc - a collection of shots that make it plain and simple what is being discussed. I think you can achieve all of this without dialogue too and it would be better for it.
Okay - so my BIG issue is with your designs for the characters and the environments: I just don't think your current approach (i,e, painterly, soft, Photoshoppy) is working, because it's making everything look like it's made from mashed potato, as opposed to dealing with shapes, forms and structures. I'm going to suggest you go for something more stylised, more graphical and more 'for animation'. Take a look at these backgrounds by way of an example:
At the moment, your characters are bit 'lumpy' and not distinguished in terms of their component parts - try and imagine them as 3D objects, as opposed to 2D illustrations. You might want to look at show's like Samurai Jack for a way to get some snap and shape to your approach:
There's something about your story that feels like it needs to get cleaner and more 'youth' - even though your telling an 'old' story. I think you should consider using simpler tools in Photoshop/Illustrator and think about more 'suggestive' backgrounds (as per some of those examples I've shared here - where you use line art to establish forms and blocks of colour, but don't get too painterly or 'real') and you go for some more shape-based, clearly-articulated character design.
OGR 10/02/2017
ReplyDeleteHey Karolina,
I think your story is going to work fine - though you might want to look at the scene in which the bully challenges Leo to the kite race, because I don't think you've got sufficient info in your scene yet to tell us that's what is happening. I don't think the audience will understand, so you might need to expand to include additional shots of kites, of the starting place, and the finishing place, with the bully pointing, Leo looking etc - a collection of shots that make it plain and simple what is being discussed. I think you can achieve all of this without dialogue too and it would be better for it.
Okay - so my BIG issue is with your designs for the characters and the environments: I just don't think your current approach (i,e, painterly, soft, Photoshoppy) is working, because it's making everything look like it's made from mashed potato, as opposed to dealing with shapes, forms and structures. I'm going to suggest you go for something more stylised, more graphical and more 'for animation'. Take a look at these backgrounds by way of an example:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QdHn8FT7SdY/TJ77PbPZh6I/AAAAAAAAJ9w/aWQqtQVMePg/s1600/beep15.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a4/0e/c6/a40ec62cb0feb2d53e96933b644cf104.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/61/e4/66/61e4661eaacd7ec213c7b835bee51600.jpg
http://99percentinvisible.org/app/uploads/2013/08/O_8stAmZILn5KJf7RhDQMkktqdJSvn25rBEmz9wEVoU_zps4873565e.jpeg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/27/4e/99/274e99444ecaa396cd8d511272038c5f.jpg
And likewise with your characters:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ce2ghDnbmOk/U1lz-c6I8QI/AAAAAAAABYQ/SlQd-YPrMOc/s1600/UPAdoc_modelsheets_willispyle_color.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/df/09/ab/df09ab18966c41c6ed375b4dfa9b049c.jpg
At the moment, your characters are bit 'lumpy' and not distinguished in terms of their component parts - try and imagine them as 3D objects, as opposed to 2D illustrations. You might want to look at show's like Samurai Jack for a way to get some snap and shape to your approach:
http://characterdesignnotes.blogspot.co.uk/2010/09/making-of-samurai-jack.html
There's something about your story that feels like it needs to get cleaner and more 'youth' - even though your telling an 'old' story. I think you should consider using simpler tools in Photoshop/Illustrator and think about more 'suggestive' backgrounds (as per some of those examples I've shared here - where you use line art to establish forms and blocks of colour, but don't get too painterly or 'real') and you go for some more shape-based, clearly-articulated character design.